Signs you're a lesbian
One's sexual orientation is much hidden and not too obvious at an early stage. Some people might have grown old before realizing that they are not in the sexual orientation they have been trying to exhibit. If you notice some women or ladies who end up saying they are lesbians, they must have gotten married to someone of the opposite sex for long before coming out as a lesbian. While in the relationship, no matter the effort their partner put forward to get them turned on or aroused; their body is always dead.
They are never sexually satisfied with the opposite sex. This will cause many misunderstandings between them and their partner because they don't know the exact place. As a result, many relationships that started in a good atmosphere end up sore because one partner's sexuality is not what she assumes it to be.
One strange thing is that no medical test can tell one's sexuality. You just have to discover it by yourself. With some signs you notice with yourself in your sexuality, you will ask yourself, am I bi, les, or straight? What are the signs someone is a lesbian that a lady should look for at an early stage? Or how to know if you’re a lesbian.
Am I bi, les, or straight?
How to tell if you’re a lesbian is not completely easy if your sexual orientation has been a major concern to you which should be normal. This may have pushed you to the point of asking and wondering if your sexuality is bisexual, lesbian, or straight. You might wonder and ask yourself, is there a way to know for sure? What are the signs you're a lesbian?
When talking about bisexuality, it shows that you are interested in both males and females alike and can't point which you prefer most. But if you are a lesbian, that means you've got no sexual urge for male folks, no matter the effort tried to get you on. Rather you get easily attracted to your fellow female. Someone straight is sexually attracted to someone of the opposite sex.
For you to know your sexuality, there are some questions you need to ask yourself or look out for in others to determine their sexual orientation.
- Which sex do you have strong sexual feelings towards - Male, female, or both?
- Whose body are you physically attracted to, male or female?
- Which gender do you prefer, hugging or kissing?
- Which sex do you have fantasies about and thinking of being with now or in the future?
If you can adequately provide answers to these questions, you should know where your sexuality stands.
To determine where you are at an early stage without having to jumble, there are some signs you will notice in yourself that will help you know.
- You think about female friends: when your thoughts are more centered around females alone, or when you go out with a guy on a first date, you feel the date should come to an end quickly. As you were with the opposite sex, you were busy thinking about your best friend, to touch her, to hug her, and hear her voice. This indicates that you are fond of females than the male, which may make you a lesbian.
- Your imagination is different from the reality: in your brain, when you are with a guy holding your hands or cleaving to you, all you keep imagine is that your best friend is holding you. Or you see the guy as a female to get pleased; your sexual orientation is that of a lesbian.
- You are drawn to women: when you are watching a movie or reading a book, if you are more attracted to the female scenes alone than the mixed, you are a lesbian. You are probably in the mall or walking down the street, and you notice women quickly than men being around.
- All your friends are females: all the gender you have around you are mostly women and girls, and you prefer hanging out with them than having a male around you.
- You fall in love easily with same-sex: your emotional feelings are more towards the gender of your sex than the opposite, and you have never fallen for males but females. It's a sign to note early of your sexuality.
What to do if you note that you are a lesbian
After you have carried out a personal evaluation on yourself to know your sexuality, you have ascertained that you are a lesbian beyond a reasonable doubt. What are the next steps to take for you not to be bullied or discriminated against?
It's not a piece of new information that most society frown at LGBTQ. Although, that does not remove the fact that people of this sexual orientation still practice their sexuality underneath. If you are in a society that people of this sexuality are not applauded, it may pose some difficulties for you to be open with it. Though you don't choose your sexuality, it chooses you, and you will need to be with someone with whom you belong together.
The best and the most reasonable thing is to disclose it. But making it known should not be to anyone who you see around you. It must be someone who has a better understanding of sexual orientation, that having different sexuality from the applauded straight is not a taboo or an eyesore. As a young girl, it is better to make it known to your parents to get you covered and protected.
If you cannot find any to confide in, find, search for an LGBTQ community near you that you can go to express your sexuality and get properly oriented. From there, you will get encouraged and motivated and not to look down on yourself nor feel awkward about your sexual orientation.
Things to bear in mind as a lesbian
As a lesbian, who just discover herself, there are some things you need to understand that will help you out about your sexual orientation.
Once people get to know your sexuality is different from being straight, you will face all sorts of harassment, bullying, and name-calling. Not only that, you may even be discriminated against and isolated from. As a lesbian, the first thing to know is that you never choose your sexuality, but your sexuality chooses you, and there is nothing to feel ashamed of. If you have this mindset, nothing will get you moved with their words. It is normal for you to be bullied and embarrassed, but it's not going to last for a long time.
In disclosing your sexuality, you must be bold, and confident to accept anything that people with different mindset brings your way. While undergoing the process of your sexuality awareness, do not result in having serial sex with different partners and never indulge in the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol. Doing this may harm you and won't make you live a remarkable life.
To be free from assaults, do the following;
- Don't fight back when you are being fought. Call on an older person to save you from the bullying
- Do not walk alone, be in the company of friends that can trust and protect you.
- Do not walk or move in an environment that is not safe for you.
I am living a healthy life and a healthy relationship as a lesbian.
To live the right life as a lesbian, you need to work it out yourself. Discovering that you are a lesbian is not enough. But how can you build your life and be impactful? How will you have a healthy affair like others? All these need to be known not to end up being depressed or thinking suicide.
- Improve on yourself: work on improving yourself in all aspects of life. Academically, socially, emotionally, and financially. Focus adequately on your academics or chosen career to be one of the best, if not the best. Your excellence will take their mind off your sexuality. In a relationship, either you have gotten a partner or not, work on your behavior and attitude in being a friendly person to be with.
- You won't get all needs met: be assured that people who are not enlightened about different sexual orientations will not be willing to meet up with your needs. Even if you are entitled to it, they will want to deny you of it. Some of your family members, too, might act strange and different towards you. If you have allowed this to sink into your consciousness, you won't feel embittered nor rejected. Focus on taking good care of yourself.
- Have a positive mindset: as a lesbian, let your thoughts be more positive than negative; you can base it on ratio 8:2. Positive thinking 8, negative thought 2. This will support you to live a healthy life. Negativity saps the spirit, for you not to be a victim of the ugly circumstances, do not entertain negativity.
- Show love to people: though it is not an easy thing for you to be in the midst of those who look at you with hatred. To show you are better off, show everyone around you true love. Be it those who accept your sexuality or not. When you do this with time, they will embrace you with the sincere love you extend towards them all. This type of unreserved love will also help you be healthy and enjoy your affairs with your partner.
- Take good care of yourself: this cannot be overemphasized. Taking good care of yourself is the most precious gift you can give to yourself. Don't get yourself stressed out, be happy, enjoy yourself and go on vacation when necessary. Pay good attention to your health, eat well and not junk; go for exercise, workout, and or yoga. Engage in things that will get you refreshed. This will also extend to your relationship with your partner, and you will be able to live with no burden or relationship stress on your mind.
- Be kind: to stay above all odds, be kind to everyone, either those in the LGBTQ community or those who aren't; it will make you the better person you should be. Kindness will also make you have a loving relationship. Spend the quality time of kindness with your partner, and your partner will admire you more than anyone else.
For you to discover that you are a lesbian is not a disease. You shouldn't look down on yourself on this. Neither should you see yourself as an outcast because you are not straight? Accept your nature and enjoy your sexuality. It is the best thing to have an early discovery of your sexuality and let no one or societal perception push you to what you are not fit for. Lots of people who stay withdrawn and refuses to disclose their sexual orientation often regret their action. Suppose they enter into any union or relationship. In that case, they will have to keep managing and endure it thinking things will change knowing that they don't have any romantic feelings with their partner of the opposite sex.
When they perceive that they could no longer cope with the situation despite the relationship and marital counseling, they might have gone for various therapies and likes. With no changes, they will then resolve to opt-out of their marriage, leaving their children and the so many years spent with their man.
So, it is better to know early, work towards surviving what may come your way and find the LGBTQ community or lesbian club you belong to where you can have the meetings of the mind.