How to tell if he only wants to hook up
How to understand that a man only wants sex with you and is not ready for a serious relationship? You can have sex with a man for several months in the modern world and do not know what exactly is happening between you. Look closely at the man next to you. He is attractive, smart, damn sexy, and making love to him is an incredible pleasure. Everything, it would seem, is good. But there is one drawback - your relationship doesn't develop. And below, we have presented you with several signs that a man perceives you exclusively as a girl for sex.
A man talks to you only on general topics; he never starts a dialogue about his affairs, does not talk about his family, tastes, friends, and rest. In addition, during communication, he is not interested in your affairs, what is happening in your life, what problems and troubles you have. Even if you are trying to start saying something about yourself, the man quickly turns the conversation in another direction or simply closes your mouth with a passionate kiss.
However, if a man is talkative and narcissistic, then, without asking you about your life, he can endlessly talk about himself, and first of all about how successful, cool, in-demand and inimitable, he is. He will demand attention and praise from you, and even better - unearthly compliments during sex.
Usually, if a man and a woman are ready for a serious relationship, then they choose a method of contraception that is convenient for the two and discuss this decision together. For example, a woman can choose hormonal medications for herself, notifying her lover about this. Or, if both partners completely trust each other, the couple may refuse to use any contraceptives altogether. In a situation where a man only needs sex from you, he always carries condoms with him and will not switch to more “intimate” contact. He is in complete control of the situation and does it on his own, without your intervention.
Your meetings take place only on his initiative and when it is convenient for him. The rest of the time, he is not interested in learning about your health, thoughts, and plans. Usually, his message about the meeting comes once a week, and sometimes less often.
A man who wants only sex from you will not invite you on dates, to the cinema, visit friends, and even more so to your parents. Why waste time on unnecessary actions when he can do more interesting things? In addition, you need to talk about something during a date, and, as we found out earlier, you practically do not have topics for conversation. He will not spend his free time with you, get carried away with your hobbies, and share his. It's just sex.
Your lover comes to your house, you have sex, and then he gets dressed and leaves, playfully slapping you on the bottom. He does not leave any personal belongings. Even if you bought him a personal toothbrush and put it especially for him in the bathroom - this is your choice. It is unlikely that he will bring this personal care item on his own, such as a razor, spare underpants, perfume, and other necessary men's accessories. By the way, if sex takes place on his territory, then none of your things should remain in his house.
Spending the morning together is already a definite step in a serious relationship, a kind of intimacy. But if you are in a highly sexual relationship, there can be many awkward situations in the morning. Therefore, a man will come up with many reasons why he should leave your apartment or walk you out of his apartment: early rise, dentist, feeling unwell - whatever, just not to stay with you until the morning!
In general, a man's intentions can be recognized almost immediately. If, already during the first date, he focuses on finding out your living conditions, for example, with whom and how you live, whether one or the other information - this is already the first sign. In addition, men who do not want a serious relationship will actively make hints about your character during your meeting. They will try to touch you, provoke your embarrassment, or try to lure you to him under various pretexts immediately. If your desires coincide, then you can become good lovers where everyone treats each other exclusively as a sexual partner. The problem is that if a man can sleep and communicate with a woman only for sex, then a woman, no matter how self-sufficient, self-confident, and knowing her desires, will soon begin to feel affection, love, and sometimes even stronger feelings. Moreover, this connection will be hopeless and painful.
Signs he likes you more than a hookup
Even if you love your boyfriend very much, this does not mean that it will be easy for you to build a relationship. This is a job that sometimes requires pushing and sometimes humility. How do you know if your relationship is getting serious? There are a couple of signs that mean full involvement and responsibility for yourself and you.
He says only good things about you
All people have their pros and cons, but if your man exaggerates the first and does not seem to notice the second, this suggests that he is deeply in love with you. Of course, it won't take long for him to notice some of your shortcomings. In the meantime, enjoy the compliments and do not destroy the illusion of the ideal girl for as long as possible.
He talks about you in the plural
The moment when two separate “I” turns into one word, “we” can be considered the beginning of a serious relationship. If on the question "How did you spend your weekend?" your boyfriend doesn't answer “I went to the movies with my girlfriend,” but answer “We went to the movies,” it means a lot.
He understands your needs
Adults and mature people are sympathetic to each other's needs, especially in a serious relationship that involves trust, respect, and a strong bond. If you don't make scandals every Wednesday, which he used to spend with friends in a bar, and he endures your endless calls with his best friend, then your relationship definitely has a future and an amazing future.
He is always happy with everything
A high concentration of happiness indicates that he is in love and is confident in the future because you no longer just go on dates and get to know each other better but are connected with a stronger bond. He is constantly in a good mood, and nothing annoys him.
He pays no attention to other girls
A man thinks you are the perfect woman, so the other girls seemed to him not as attractive and beautiful as it was in his bachelor's past. He can note to himself an attractive figure or a pretty face of a stranger but does not attach much importance to this because he has already found his beloved girl, and he does not need to look anymore.
He is ready to sacrifice for the sake of you
Sacrificing something for the sake of another person and not expecting the same from him is a manifestation of pure and selfless love. When your interests become not so important, when selfish motives disappear, when even the most notorious egoist becomes selfless and ready to do everything for the happiness of a loved one, then you are really loved and appreciated!
He only texts when he wants to hook up
All people lie, and men are no exception. It happens that he will say "yes," meaning "no" in fact, or will remain silent in response, or mutter something indefinite. And here it already makes sense to look, and whether your relationship has changed since the moment of the conversation:
If none of the above is present, but there are meetings, pleasant sex, and rare contacts between you, and you want a healthy relationship, then you need to end your connection in any action important to stop in time. And not to turn, good sex, which you failed to develop into something more, into the painful drama of your whole life.
I want a relationship, not a hookup
How do you tell a guy you want a serious relationship? How to find out how he feels about you?
Any relationship is a work of two, a desire of two, and a VOLUNTARY decision of two people. If you start a conversation too aggressively and suddenly, your man will simply be scared. And in stressful situations, people react in different ways. He can tell you that he has always dreamed of a woman like you, or he can greatly offend you and say that he is not ready for a relationship at all.
What needs to be done: prepare him for bringing up this conversation so that he thinks does he need it in principle?
What you gain: Time to prepare for the fact that he might go away. Play all possible options in your head. But don't be discouraged if the answer is disappointing for you!
There are millions of ways to say a phrase that carries the same message but is interpreted differently. But besides this, there are boilerplate phrases that annoy everyone around.
What to do: Formulate a question that does not make sound binding or burdensome. For example, asking "what is the best way for me to treat you" already sounds less intimidating. In addition, this is a psychological method, thanks to which the illusion is created that it is your man who is now in charge of the process.
What you gain: the opportunity not to be banal and harsh.
Make sure this conversation is appropriate. If you had never talked about this topic before and initially discussed an open relationship, then you should not start a conversation. You won't hear anything new exactly as it is not worth talking about it if you see each other once every two months, and in general, it does not look like any relationship.
What you need to do: understand that you have different views on future life.
What you gain: You no longer expect it to lead to more than just sex.
Tell me straight! No matter how trite it may sound, but this is one of the most reliable options. You are a person with your own opinions and priorities, with an outlook on life. Believe me, if you show him this version of yourself, everything will be fine anyway.
What to do: Treat him normally and not try to be another version of yourself. Understand what kind of person he is and talk about what kind of person you are.
What you win: You are unlikely to be treated lightly if you are not frivolous.
And the last parting word - stop waiting for seriousness in the first days (or months) of your acquaintance. Stop waiting for seriousness from those with whom you just sleep for months and have sex. Do not fantasize, and do not expect that you will be called first to get married and only then to bed. And you will be happy.