How to maintain a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend
A relationship is like a bird. If you hold it too tight, it may die, and if you hold it lightly, it may fly away. Maintaining a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend that will end well requires lots of dedication and wisdom for it to survive the test of time. Love knows no boundary; neither does it know race or distance.
A relationship is challenging and intriguing. It gets a bit disturbing once distance sets in. However, the advent of mobile devices and social media platforms has made it less complicated than it used to be. Despite this, some problems may still surface, but if they can be managed, you will find yourself enjoying your relationship, and the distance will make it stronger. No matter what people have conceived about long-distance relationships negatively, that doesn't mean it won't succeed. For long-distance relationships to see the light of the day, the parties' agreement must be definite. To make it work and solve long-distance relationship problems, there must be commitments from the two individuals. You must as well be optimistic about it. If you are not, it is that state of your mind that will pressure you and pull you out of the relationship.
Long-distance relationship communication problems
No matter the promises you both have made, never to leave each other, believe it or not, once you are miles away from each other, some problems will set in. One of the long-distance relationship problems that tend to surface if you gather one thousand and one long-distance relationship partner together is communication.
This communication problem can be in two different ways: lack of communication between you and your partner or excessive communication.
Lack of communication: when you don't communicate regularly, it can pose a problem in your relationship and make you both grow apart. The thoughts that you will be having within you is that the relationship is not working. It may even grow to the point of accusing each other of cheating or being unfaithful in the relationship. This may eventually wreck it if proper care is not taken to mend it early.
When there is no communication between you and your boyfriend, it is inevitable to see yourself as single. When you do, you will want to give in to pressure and demands from other guys close to you and willing to go on a date with you.
That is why it is said that communication is vital in any relationship that will work out. Reasonable communication, not just irrelevant ones that may make you both get bored of communicating. Once you noticed this, talk about the communication gap between you two and find a way to resolve it once.
Excessive communication: it may be funny that excessive communication can be a long-distance relationship communication problem. When you and your partner talks too much and spend several hours together talking, there is a tendency that you begin to talk about things that you ought not to say. Once this happens, you get each other bored and uninterested in the communication again. If you allow it to go on perpetually without taming it, your relationship may capsize as a result.
Excessive communication can lead to miscommunication if care is not taken. Miscommunication emanates more often from texting, chatting, or sending emails to your partner. You will type something, and it will be misread or given a wrong interpretation. Sarcasm, teasing, and slight jokes can be gotten wrong. Before you know what is going, the joke has already be taken; otherwise and criticism and argument will ensue between you too. This miscommunication can also be in stylistics and semantics of words, especially if one's partner is not a native speaker or does not have an in-depth understanding of the language.
For you not to let this get in the way, it will be okay not to react immediately, stay calmed and ask a question about the statement. The statement, "sorry/ excuse me, dear, what did you mean by that?" will give you clarity and help to avoid trouble with your partner. With this, you will communicate effectively without getting each other wrong in a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationship problems and solutions
A relationship is a work in itself that needs to get devoted to and be disciplined. So also it is a course to be studied adequately to come out in flying colors. But a long-distance relationship tends to face lots of issues than the usual relationship where you get to see your partner often. Depending on how you take it, the problems are not too serious, and that shouldn't make it to be tagged as a long-distance relationship doesn't work.
For you to stay above the long-distance relationship communication problems, trust in your partner and those who have had a successful long-distance relationship.
Without much ado, let us quickly take a look at the like problems that may surface and how you can handle them. Here are long-distance relationship problems and solutions.
Short of discussion: after lots and series of years you have been talking on long distance, you may have nothing to talk about. In a long-distance relationship, you don't have to communicate too often. It is not like a regular relationship where you can be with your partner, and something around will bring about communication. While in a long-distance relationship, have it in mind that there will be times that there will be flow in communication and sometimes will come where it will be dry. If this happens, don't see it as a bad omen.
Solution: try something different out. Don't make it the regular talking. For instance, you can tell your partner to get a particular book, read it together, and discuss what you both read; you can also do that with movies. Teach each other things through video chats, talk about your future, the type of house and car you will both like to have, colors you will love it on, and many things like that.
Being fagged out to talk: When you get too tired to have heartfelt communication with your partner, it may pose serious long-distance problems. This might occur if you both are in a different time zone or if one person's work is so demanding that he/she has to work late and as at the time to communicate, he/she is already exhausted from the day's activities.
Solution: let your partner know earlier that you will need to get some rest and won't talk if you are the type that communicates every day. You may as well both plan a time when you both can be less busy in the week when you will both be able to talk and chat with no disturbance and distractions.
Smothering: partners believe that they need to know about their half's whereabouts always. If this goes on and acts insecure, you may get your partner freaked out and get them uninterested again.
Solution: if you observe that you are acting possessive or your partner mentions it, think of how you can become less controlling and work on things together with him to become less possessive. If your boyfriend is acting too possessive, let him know gently how you don't like him acting possessive and how you would want things to go.
How to be a better boyfriend in a long-distance
Relationship requires the working out of both parties to solve long-distance problems, you must put in the effort needed. As a guy, you need to put more effort into it than your partner. What are the things to put in doing to be a better boyfriend in a long-distance relationship?
- Communicate at a suitable time: to be a good boyfriend, ensure that you often have unrelenting communication with your girlfriend. Fix a time that will be convenient for you both to communicate. Let the communication be a reasonable and heartfelt one, not blabbing.
- Be honest with her: do not give her a sense of doubt and how you live your life where you are. If you are not going to communicate or chat due to some reason, make it known to her. Don't fix her up on what you won't be able to meet up with.
- Try to visit once a while: do not keep the relationship all that long. Travel to see her and spend some good times together, even if it's just once in months. If she can visit, allow her to do as well.
- Let her know how much you love her: ladies appreciate it when you make a sincere expression of words to them. Let her know the positive impacts she had made in your life. Give her your words that you will never cheat on her and keep loving her. This will make her rest assured that she is not alone or being deceived.
- Be there for her: This is another long-distance relationship boyfriend duty. Though you are miles away from each other, you can always be there for your girlfriend. Share in her problems and proffer her solutions she can embark on. Let your shoulders be available for her to lean on as you are not together. Don't let her cry over things that concern you or your relationship, ensure you make her happy always.
- Speak her love language other: everyone has a love language that will make them feel more loved and cared for. With the way you communicate, you should sense it, but if you can't, ask her what will make her feel cared for. This will let you know her love language if it is quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, or receiving gifts. If your girlfriend's love language is physical touch, this might want to pose some problem since you are not together, but you can find a way around it. You can send her something like a gravity blanket, stress ball, or a fuzzy pillow for her to have physical comfort.
- Respect her: If you wish to learn how to be a better boyfriend long-distance style, accord her some respect about how she feels about some things and her decision. Allow her to have time for herself, with friends and even your family member. This will create in her a sense of belonging.
- Encourage her: be her source of motivation over things she wants to do, or she's feeling reluctant. Encourage her to achieve it and bet your trust in her over the move.
Maintaining a relationship with my long-distance boyfriend is not something that comes on a silver platter; you will have to do everything necessary to maintain it and secure it. Have it in mind that many people, friends, and family members will want to get you discouraged. They will tell you negative things and some probable things about your boyfriend that may make you lose interest in him but know that they are not the ones in the relationship, neither do they know your boyfriend as you do. Trust him, be open to each other, and you will see it work out. Yours is not the first long-distance relationship that will ever happen; some have happened and ended in a blissful union to date.
No relationship comes easy; even those who together do have ups and downs. Some who can't handle it the way they should end up calling it to quit. That is the reason you need to get your knowledge saturated with ways you can get your long-distance relationship going and make it survive through the hard times. And you will be glad you both work things out despite the distance.