Stages of Getting Over a Breakup

Almost everyone has to endure relationship grief from a breakup at some point. In fact, research has suggested that going through loss results in physical and emotional pain. The approach by which people choose to deal with grief is what differs.

During the relationship’s initial phase, staying together for eternity is the main goal. After fully connecting with someone, you start planning your lives together. The thought of ending the relationship hurts, which is natural.

However, there is a thin line between giving up on a relationship because you don’t want to fight for it and being over-consumed by grief and letting them ruin you. It’s very hard to believe that a cherished union may be ending, with both of you having to go your separate ways. Feelings of utter confusion and panic are par for the course.

No matter the brutality of the process, understanding how to go through the stages without struggling too much or bottling up your emotions is critical for a healthy recovery. Trust us, your future self will be grateful when you fully listen to your heart. After having fought for the relationship to the extent of complete exhaustion, one should learn about relationship breakup stages.

5 Stages of Grief After a Breakup

Denial

You refuse to believe that the relationship came to an end. Imagining splitting apart is horrific — your mind is unable to comprehend the situation fully. You contributed a lot to the relationship, yet it didn’t work out in the end. To reduce the pain, you deny the reality and instead pretend it isn’t happening. You believe that, like every fight, the situation will get resolved eventually, though deep down, you know it’s impossible. Convincing yourself otherwise is less painful than facing the truth.

Infuriation

At this stage, denying that your relationship ended a short while ago has passed. The reality is beginning to kick in, and things are getting more and more frustrating with passing days. At this point, a burst of anger, which acts as a masking effect, comes into play.

Anger may not be aimed towards your ex, yet you may become angry with surroundings, including inanimate objects. You feel like life is unfair, and you’re the only one is enduring pain. You feel you’ve given it your all, yet it was insufficient to save the relationship. Even if the logical part of your brain understands there’s no one to blame and that’s how life is, your emotions are just excessively intense for you not to lash out.

The time required to go through this stage of a broken heart varies from person to person, with some having to deal with it longer than others. What is certain is that when the anger begins to fade, you begin to think more logically about the entire breakup and face the emotions you’ve been trying to avoid.

Dealings

When you’re grieving, you feel sensitive and powerless. While trying to gain control over the situation, some people manipulate their minds into thinking they somehow have control over the outcome of the situation, which is not entirely accurate. You adhere to the expectation that you can win your partner back if you could change the course of past events.

This stage of grief is a defense mechanism that only serves as a distraction from the reality of the situation. You’re trying to convince yourself that there’s still hope. To overcome it, think about the outcome you currently reached, which results from your and your partner’s actions.

Relapse (Depression)

The anger and bargaining stages involve an abundance of strong emotions and are considered one of the most difficult stages of grief after a relationship breakup. However, the depression stage is a breed apart. It’s quiet. Your heart feels heavy. Your mind is confused. You feel like you’re losing yourself. You might need to take some time away from others to deal with the loss fully. However, overcoming this stage is a must for your well-being.

Acceptance

We know that this stage seems like the end of the line. In reality, it’s not, since going through every stage of grief after a relationship breakup is not a linear process. Acceptance only means that you’ve come to terms with the fact that your relationship is over.

You might feel like a different person by the time you reach this stage, and that’s understandable. With every considerable change in your life, you change into a different person, which isn’t necessarily bad. It’s natural to go through hardships in life, and you should know that better days are coming.

Stages of Moving on After a Breakup

There are more stages of grief relationship breakup. Depending on the person, the number may be different. Read to learn how to prepare yourself for whatever comes mentally.

Confusion

Every relationship, even if it ruined you to pieces, has had its good moments. In this grief from breakup phase, you’re not sure which part of the relationship prevails — the good or the bad one. You can’t seem to accept what happened, but at the same time, you know that it wasn’t all bad.

While going through this stage, it’s recommended to have a change of perspective. Usually, when you are in love with someone, your judgment is clouded. A good way to resolve this issue is to write the upsides and downsides of your relationship on a piece of paper and see which factors outweigh the others. Attempt to be straightforward and honest with yourself as much as you can is also a nice idea.

Sorrow

It’s believed that one begins to value something only after they’re lost it. The same thing can be said about a relationship. After it’s over, you can’t help but reminisce about happy days, no matter how badly the relationship ended. After all, it’s human nature to want what you can’t have.

Feeling numb

This stage of grief after a breakup is similar to the denial stage. You’re not frustrated anymore, though now you’re in the middle of not feeling anything.

This stage is a bit tricky since it may take a significant amount of time to overcome. Your mind is subconsciously blocking out all the grief from the breakup. Even though it is trying to protect you as best as possible, you should make an extra effort to push through this phase. Brace yourself and avoid any self-destructive actions should such thoughts appear.

5 Stages of Heartbreak

Parting ways with a friend or a family member is one of the hardest things a person needs to deal with. Pain is excruciating and seems too real. You lose something or someone, and after a while, you forget what it felt like going through the stages of grief after a relationship breakup.

Pain

Pain comes with the end of the stages of confusion, relapse, and denial. When reality hits hard, this is when it starts to hurt. The only way to overcome pain is to face it and let it go. You might even question yourself whether it’s worth the trouble (it is).

The emotions may come rushing suddenly, and the process of grieving over the loss of a relationship will feel overwhelming. You have to embrace your feelings; otherwise, you’ll never be able to move on.

Reflection

This stage of grief after a relationship breakup revolves around past events, things you’ve done with your ex-partner, and the influence of the relationship on your current life. You no longer feel the need to bargain for your ex’s approval, and you seek solitude to process everything that’s been going on instead. This stage is when the reality is at its clearest. Although having enough personal time is helpful to process your feelings and analyze your issues, it’s better not to fall deep into the comfort of isolation.

Loneliness

You begin associating people with pain and loneliness with comfort, and that’s wrong. Instead, consider balancing between having personal space and spending time with people who make you feel better about yourself and let you forget the pain for a while. Having someone to rely on is crucial going through the relationship grief from a breakup. No matter how much of a lone wolf you are, people are social beings. Eventually, you’ll get past it and learn a lot throughout the process.

Replacement

Ever since the breakup, you’ve been avoiding the places you used to go, people associated with your partner, or activities you used to do together. Maybe your partner used to take care of certain aspects of your life, and you currently feel desperate without them. In this stage, you regain the strength to replace what they contributed to your life by yourself. Make new memories in old places, enjoy habitual activities, make new acquaintances outside your ex-partner’s circle, and learn how to do things your partner used to help you with.

Acceptance

This stage is where everything falls into place. Passing through every stage after the relationship grief from a breakup has taught you a lot by now. Now you can find yourself accepting what happened, regardless of how good or bad things were. You no longer dream about going back in time and changing everything. Finally, you feel like you’ve come a long way and grown as an individual.